Hijacked on Stefan Cel Mare

So, there I was... wandering down Boulevardul Stefan Cel Mare, after having already taken many touristy photos on Metropolit G. Banulescu Bodoni.  I had decided that in addition to getting pictures for all of you, Saturday's mission would include finding where on Stefan Cel Mare I would find Dr. Boris Topor's office (he had sent me the address in Friday's e-mail.)  After stopping for a beer at the cinema's outdoor cafe, I asked the servers for general directions (I now give the address I am looking for and ask "la stânga sau la dreapta?" - on the left or the right? - in order to avoid complicated instructions... Lesson #202.)  They tell me it's to the left, and off I go!

A few blocks down the road I come to some large, official looking buildings that I do not see numbers on.  I ask the next person I meet (a young woman whose name I later find to be Marina) if she knows what these buildings are.  She promptly grabs my hand and indicates to follow her to the building (which is under construction.)  I oblige, curious to see what happens next.  Well, she climbs up onto a marble post and starts yelling (in Russian) over the sheet-metal construction barrier.  I don't hear any of the workers yelling back, and eventually she stops yelling for them.  She gets down, and explains that the building is the Presidential Offices and the building across the street is the Parliament (I think... something about the building where the President works when there is no trouble, and the building where the President goes when there are problems to resolve... take from that what you will.)  I thank her and ask if I am still headed the right direction for #192 Stefan Cel Mare.  She starts to answer, looks concerned, and grabs my hand.  "Follow me, I will take you there."  And off we go, in the same direction I was headed - opposite to the direction she was headed when I stopped her.

Along the way I took a picture of a church, and she explains a bit about religion.  A block later we arrive in front of a basilica that is of her own faith.  She stops in front of the open door and makes the sign of the cross multiple times and bows.  I tell her that the church is beautiful... so she grabs my hand and takes me inside.  Please keep in mind that I am wearing a Michigan jersey, blue jeans and sneakers... and there is a priest holding mass.  I try telling her that my clothes are bad, and she just says "nu e problem, nu e problem."  So I do what any severely underdressed American should do when whisked into an Orthodox mass... I imitate everything the members of the church do.  The priest says something, they all make the sign of the cross, I make the sign of the cross (right shoulder before left shoulder.)  The priest says something else, they make the sign of the cross three times and bow slightly, I make the sign of the cross three times and bow slightly... you get the picture.

As this is going on, Marina points to the ceiling and I see that it has three beautifully painted domes.  "Picture," she says.  "Nu, nu..." I respond.  "Nu e problem, picture!  Nu e problem," she replies, starting to raise her voice.  So in the midst of mass I now have my camera out and snap a few pictures (mostly to keep Marina subdued.)  Lucky for me, after I take the pictures, Marina goes and kisses a book on a pedestal and returns to grab my hand... back to the streets.

And two buildings down from the church... the medical building!  I thank Marina for getting me to the building I was seeking, and she asks if I want to go in.  "Nu..."  She looks at me half confused, half concerned, and ignores my protest.  In we go.

A nurse stops us at the door, explains that we cannot come in, Marina begins to argue.  "Nu, e bine, mulțumesc" I interject (of course that means Marina has to turn her argument to me.)  I ignore Marina and ask the nurse if this is the building where I can find Dr. Topor.  "Oh, yes, of course," she replies.  "Mulțumesc doamna."  And out the door we go.

Now, I thank Marina for what I hope is the last time, and indicate that I am going to continue down Stefan Cel Mare (knowing that she was headed the opposite direction 6 blocks back.)  She looks at me with a puzzled expression.  "Pictures," I explain.  "Ah!" and she grabs my hand, telling me she knows just the place.  And at this point I decide to give in, and no longer worry about ditching my guide... it is quite obvious that things are not going to be on my terms, regardless.

We stop at a "troleibuz" stop, and wait for the right number.  Up it rolls, and on we go!

As we leave from view of Stefan Cel Mare, in God knows what direction, I ask Marina where we are going.  She explains something about marriage, and I am now officially concerned.  On my flight over the Atlantic, Artiom had given me one very stern warning:  "Look out for the women.  They will try to marry you."  To which I laughed, and he replied "No, I'm serious.  You will see."

So we get off the trolley... and there I see it: a building that is named Nevada with pictures of dice and whatnot.  Holy cats... she's going to try to elope with me Las Vegas style... I'm going to wind up married to a Moldovan woman who can't speak English... I'm never going to get home because they'll stop me at the border and hold me to my nuptials... oh my God... Get yourself together!!!  OK, I'm back with it.

"What is that?" I ask, pointing to the building.  "Nu e bine!"  she replies strongly, with a look of very deep concern.  "Nu mergeți acolo!" (Don't go there.)  Phew!!!  She doesn't plan to take me to the casino... in fact she repeats advice I have been given prior, and that is to stay away from the casinos and their corruption.  So she directs my view to a park, and there I see them:  brides... a lot of brides.

Apparently, Moldovans go to the parks for their wedding photographs (I had already come across one such wedding party at a park earlier that day... which you'll see in the coming pictures.)  So, in we go, scooting right past the guard taking admission fees (at this point I'm beginning to question Marina's "E bine"'s.)  So, many pictures of many wedding parties later (including one tense moment, in which she requested that a bride and groom sit back down so that I could take a picture - a picture that I was quite happy without FYI - somewhere along the way telling the angry groomsmen that I am a journalist of some sort...) we head out of the park.

I am now in the need of a beer.  "Vrei o beră?" I ask.  And off we are to a cafe.  Upon arriving, we order two pints of beer, she orders a pack of cigarrettes, and some chips (Lay's Cheddar, it turns out.)  To fulfill your curiosities, the two beers (plus two more) along with a pack of cigarrettes and a bag of chips cost 61 lei... or about $5.25.  We talk about learning languages (she speaks five:  Russian, Moldovan, Slovenian, Turkish... and something else...) and about the tense moment in the park (according to her, she was just practicing good politics when she told them I was a journalist.)  I also find out that when we crossed paths she was headed home from her sisters, and had stopped at this very cafe on her way for a few pints of beer.  And that explains a lot... including her ensuing drunkeness.

So, we wrap up at the cafe and I am off to Stefan Cel Mare in the direction described by our waitress... being guided by (a drunken) Marina, of course.  And onto an autobuz (a giant van) we go... which turns in the complete oppopsite direction!  I am now headed to God knows where, from God knows where... perfect.

I tried paying as we got on... which is not what you do (as inferred by Marina smacking my hand.)  In my defense, you do pay as you get on a trolley; but do not pay as you get on a bus.  Lesson #65.  But, after a few moments, Marina indicates that we need to get out some "bani" (money).  I start to pull out a bill, and she snatches what I am pretty sure was a 50 lei; says something in Russian to the gentleman in front of me, who passes up the bill, calls out a phrase in Russian and everyone in the van starts buzzing with excitement and hollering... I just paid for everyone's fare (about $4 after I got my change back.)  And as suddenly as I was on the autobuz, I was off the autobuz.

At this point we are at a major road again (the other end of Stefan Cel Mare I would find out.)  Marina dragged me subterranean to cross the road in what is basically an underground shopping center (no subway, thank goodness... I've had enough of new public transportation experiences.)  On the other side, she indicated that she lived nearby and was tired.  I  played dumb, she said something about taking her clothes off, I played dumb some more... she began to get frustrated.  "La revedere?" I said.  (Good-bye?)  And with that, she put up an indignant hand, spun on one foot and took off across the six lanes of traffic into the night (and yes, I watched to make sure that my drunken guide did not get hit by a car or bus or trolley... somehow she avoided them all.  Frogger comes to mind.)

I found a taxi, and was home before I knew it... and none too soon.  Home sweet home.  :^)

So I'll leave you with Lesson #411 from Brian's Guide to Living in Moldova:  Always ask for directions from a group of people... they are far less likely to deviate from their own destination in order to take you on a 4 hour detour.